Breaking taboos with communication: real men don’t cry

Real men don’t cry. Do they?

Last weekend, professional football in the Netherlands paused to address a persistent taboo. The campaign Together For Vulnerability drew attention to mental health. Team captains carried pennants with this message, Typhoon wrote a song about the topic, and last Monday Cinetree released the documentary Echte Mannen Huilen Niet (Real Men Don’t Cry, viewing tip!), in which current and former professional footballers speak openly about their mental struggles. Among them is Gianni Zuiverloon, founder of the Play Mental Foundation.

The message? Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a strength.

Disturbing numbers

The idea that men should keep their emotions under control is a belief many boys grow up with, especially in competitive environments such as elite sports or the business world. But the reality is sobering. Figures from Centraal Bureau voor de Statistiek show that 39% of Dutch men struggle with feelings of anxiety or depression. A silent problem: men are less likely to seek help and more likely to bottle up their emotions.

The role of communication in breaking taboos

It is incredibly important that this taboo is broken. And this campaign shows just how important communication is in that process. Because the fact that this message comes from footballers, who are seen as heroes by many young boys, is storytelling at its best. Real stories from men many people look up to help make the unspeakable speakable.

At the same time, it shows how important framing is. The way we portray men in the media can have enormous societal consequences. Does a man always have to be dominant and strong? Or is there space for vulnerability?

It is actually more logical than it might seem that professional football in the Netherlands positions itself as an authority on this issue. Yes, a touch of Robert Cialdini here. Just as we trust dentists who recommend a particular toothpaste in advertisements, we trust professional footballers when it comes to ideas about “masculinity”. If they say that talking about emotions is a strength rather than a weakness, the norm begins to shift. And that shift is badly needed.

A powerful instrument for societal impact

The Together For Vulnerability campaign shows beautifully how communication can be a tool to change behaviour and break taboos. A tool that allows organisations to create real societal impact. I sincerely hope this is only the beginning. That taboo needs to disappear.

Men, it is okay to be vulnerable.
Let’s talk about it.